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Host: Jess Dewell
Guest: Martin Medeiros
Systems versus elements.
Three systems that make up negotiation.
Silence is a powerful tactic.
Each system can be practiced individually – yet the importance of them is not equal.
Practice the planning as it’s 80% of a negotiation.
Taking the time can be difficult, yet it is powerful and yields results.
Know the plan b and what risks occur to make confident decisions.
Live Audience Question: What happens when we ask questions but someone else uses the same tactic to respond to get control of a conversation?
#QuestionPingPong – Martin’s new hashtag.
Use priming to impact your influence.
Six things necessary to be present in a situation.
Live Audience Question: When I am an artist and craftsperson, and I want to sell my business or to step up into the next level of the organization, what are the risk signs so that I don’t leave value on the table?
Audience Question: What should we look for in risk to guide us to a decision?
Remove urgency in a situation.
It is BOLD to recognize risk and realize value?
Jess Dewell 3:20
Look at any three year old out there, right? What are they doing? They’re learning to negotiate for what they want. And then we fast forward and our family, the experiences, we have, the schools that we go to, the expectation of the communities that we belong to, shape and change that. And somehow we lose the element of figuring out what we want and actually going for it.
Martin Medeiros 4:51
Before you can think of having a negotiation, you have to capture people’s attention. And once you have their attention, then you can actually start communicating you’re needs
Martin Medeiros 6:03
My approach is there are three systems to negotiation. The first system — or subsystem, because negotiation itself as a system — I call strategy These are things we do before the negotiation. Second,tactics. Tactics are things we do after the negotiations. And one tactic I’ll give it to you — one of the top five here — is silence. Sometimes just not saying anything is a great tactic. Americans are notorious for negotiating against themselves when they feel nervous.When people stop talking, they feel tension and they start negotiating against themselves. That’s a tactic. The third system are operations ,or operational system. Things external to the negotiation that impact its trajectory. So once again, the three subsystems to negotiation are strategies, things you do beforehand. Tactics, things o at the negotiation. And operations, things external to the negotiation that can impact its outcome.
Martin Medeiros 10:43
You should spend 80% of your time in a negotiation planning. Knowing my walk away, but knowing their walk away too. And knowing how far I can ask, and what are they likely to come back with? And what’s my response? It’s very much like a chess game.
Martin Medeiros 11:33
On the tactical side, if you’re new, the best thing you can do is ask questions. Bcause by asking questions you actually control the dialogue.
Martin Medeiros 11:53
If you’ve ever been in a deposition, or in front of some type of quiz master, that guy or gal who’s asking those questions, controls the dialogue. And if someone is trying to pull something over on your tactically, and you want to slow down the velocity of the negotiation, then ask questions
Martin Medeiros 12:26
Influence, negotiations, persuasion is how we communicate our needs to the world.
Martin Medeiros 12:34
We can get distracted by the room layout, body language, micro expressions, telephone versus email, time of day, maybe we’re hungry. But if I focus on my needs, and I know them, I’m less likely to be influenced during the negotiation.
Martin Medeiros 12:53
Strategically, do a plan. Tactically, ask questions. Operationally, focused on your needs.
Martin Medeiros 14:37
Do I know what the risks are? Because if you don’t know the risks, you really don’t know the rewards, because the risk can be eclipsed by the value.
Martin Medeiros 15:09
Game theory has to do with probabilities, outcomes, and pay off. Probability is a risk measure. What’s the risk that the deal won’t close, or I won’t prevail in court? What are the options? And if that risk may happen, what’s the ultimate payoff?
Martin Medeiros 17:25
If you don’t have the knowledge, outsource it. You gotta hire someone who does. Or if it’s too emotional, or someone who could be an intermediate. If you can’t objectively see stuff, talk to an attorney.
Jess Dewell 19:16
One of the things that I talked about is that every business is a technology business, period. Because we all use technology. And if part of our technology went away, our business would be impacted in some capacity if part of our technology went away.
Martin Medeiros 21:15
When you’re talking about technology, think about what you own and what you basically rent. For example, I may have a great SEO strategy, I may put 10s of thousands, hundreds of thousands dollars into that strategy, or 50 or hundred bucks, which may be dear to me, to promote my business. And in a day, that investment can be blown if that algorithm on Facebook or Google change. So what’s my plan B? Instead of investing all my money and an SEO strategy that relies on someone else’s algorithm, maybe I should start collecting things like an email list.
Martin Medeiros 22:51
So, I’m entering into a deal with a vendor, when it no longer works for us? How is it going to happen? Always get it in writing, because people forget. You have the most leverage at the beginning of the deal, because if it’s an afterthought, it’s going to be expensive. They’ll do it for you. It just may be lower quality and higher expense and you’d want it.
Martin Medeiros 26:20
You have to go into a deal boldly. Now I don’t mean locking your knees and saying, “I’m not gonna make any concessions.” That’s fantasy. You have to think, Hey, I’m not going to be afraid that I’m going to step on someone’s toes. I’m going to communicate my needs in a persuasive and calm fashion, and most of the time they will accept those needs.
Martin Medeiros 35:20
Watch stand up comedy. It’s all about timing. Just like a comedian knows when to stop talking and let the laugh happen. When you’re in negotiation, you’re kind of in front of your audience. The audience of one or maybe a panel.
Martin Medeiros 45:38
The old clip, I say “bad ideas tend to come at you fast,” where there’s some urgency Oh my god. This sounds really good, coming at me fast. Taking the time to do a little bit of planning, to see “hey Is this a good deal?” is critical. Delaying that gratification. Yeah, it looks like a big cookie in front of you, but maybe if you hold off a little. you can get two of them.
Martin Medeiros 47:39
Enrepreneurs, I love you, I’ve worked with you for decades, but always have a grip on reality. That does not being don’t Dream Big. That does not mean, pay attention to people who your detractors don’t pay to your detractors. You can figure it out. Can it be done? Will the market bare it? Is it really a need, and not a want? My little tagline there, “We communicate our needs to the world via persuasion, influence, and negotiation.” Those are needs, not wants. Wants are very visceral. It’s very emotional. Needs are things that you need to get that market share, to get that business launch. Things you want are not always going to get you where you need to be. What do you need to be successful, not what you think you want? So you have to figure out what your goal is, and what your needs are to get to that goal. And always, really do be bold because people will always tell you can’t do it. People will always say that my dad always said, people will tell you can do it, but you have to do it anyway because that’s how the world runs.
persuasion, communication, negotiation, value, risk, systems, game theory, knowledge, tactics, value, risk, strategy, operations
How to evaluate risk to better understand the full potential of an opportunity.
Getting what we want is a skill. Specifically, negotiation skills. When we reflect and consider how we show up and know exactly what we want, we can then prepare a way to ask with confidence and clarity. This works both in our everyday lives and in protecting ourselves, our companies, and our proprietary information. Risk is one of those four-letter words. Looking at and understanding risk strengthens our ability to communicate. Jess Dewell talks with Martin Mederios – Author, Speaker, and Attorney – who teaches influence and persuasion.
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