Success Beyond Control: Cultivating Influence & Adaptability

Starting the conversation:

How do you cultivate a mindset that emphasizes influence and adaptability rather than rigid control? Because establishing a clear mission directs your attention to align goals with aspirations. Carrie Haines, Mortgage Broker at Movement Mortgage; Jevoy Palmer, CEO at Palmer House Productions; and Debra Eckerling, Goal Strategist and Author at The DEB Method, share experiences which led them to own who they are — and successfully navigate the twists and turns we all face.

Fear can be positively managed to support your growth — by surpassing limitations that come from embracing challenges. To do this, knowing who you are aids in navigating new, unexpected, or even planned events that keep you moving toward your goals. The key is to keep reassessing and making adjustments along the way.

In this program, you will hear that claiming your true north cultivates adaptability; how to make sure you view your goals realistically; and how to discover things that may be disguised as progress yet are keeping you stuck. Jess Dewell hosts Carrie Haines, Mortgage Broker at Movement Mortgage, Jevoy Palmer CEO at Palmer House Productions, and Debra Eckerling, Goal Strategist and Author at The DEB Method, to discuss why it is BOLD to adapt while staying focused on what you can control.

Host: Jess Dewell

Guest: Carrie Haines, Jevoy Palmer, and Debra Eckerling

What You Will Hear:

03:18 Deb Eckerling on how do you cultivate a mindset that emphasizes adaptability?

• Determine your mission to know what you want.
• Use your mission statement and motto as your guiding force.
• Stay open to opportunities that align with your core mission.

05:33 Carrie Haines on finding balance between control and adaptability.

• Use the analogy of a boat in a river with chaos and rigidity on each side.
• Understand the importance of having a little bit of both chaos and order.
• Navigate life by staying flexible and adaptable within the extremes.

07:23 Jevoy Palmer shares about how to plant seeds of habits for adaptability.

• Cultivate resilience through rejection and maintaining a calm temperance.
• Maintain a core that holds you firm while being adaptable.
• Understand your habits to prevent over-adaptability and maintain your core.

09:53 Know what your center is, your true north and values, to navigate adaptability.

• Use intention, willingness to explore, and a central core as your anchors.
• Deb emphasizes goal setting simplified with harmony, legacy, and breakthrough.
• Carrie highlights the importance of being intentional, with words like healthy and systems.

23:19 Connection and solution-driven strengths.

• Deb shares that conversations are her happy place, fostering connections.
• Carrie finds joy in connecting others, enhancing their opportunities.
• Javoy finds being solution-driven sometimes means disregarding others’ journeys.

48:17 It is BOLD to adapt while staying focused on what you can control.

Resources

• 52 Secrets for Goal-Setting and Goal-Getting

Transcript

Jess Dewell 00:00
So, my word of the year showed me the exact opposite of what I thought it was.

Debra Eckerling 00:06
There’s something about that word, a harmony that I’ve always been drawn to.

Jevoy Palmer 00:12
Cultivate. For me, that means plant seeds that are going to grow and create a recurring effect that I desire.

Carrie Haines 00:19
I picked a word for the first time last year, and it was intentional. So everything I did, I had to be intentional about.

Announcer 00:29
You are listening to the Bold Business Podcast, where you will hear firsthand experiences about what it really takes to ensure market relevance and your company’s future.

Jess Dewell 00:41
Welcome to the Bold Business Podcast. I’m here today and we’re having a panel discussion about mindset. Not any mindset, a specific mindset. There are a lot of specific mindsets, but here’s really what we’re talking about today. And in our world, where we never know what’s going to happen in our world, where stuff is constantly happening that we can’t imagine or exist not only in our own world, but in our neighborhoods and in our countries and in our sister countries around the globe, we can recognize we can either be adaptable or not. And the or not part makes it a little rougher so we don’t have to have it be that rough. But we could, unless we are cultivating this concept of adaptability. So I have invited Deb and Carrie and Javoy to join me to have a conversation about what this means to them so that we can paint this bigger picture with which you can join in the conversation. So wherever you’re listening and watching, please leave a comment. Wherever you are listening and watching, please join in and make sure and connect with Deb and Carrie and Javoy, in addition to subscribing to all of the awesomeness of the Bold Business Podcast and me, Jess Dewell, so that we can stay having these conversations because it’s what we make of it for how we show up and we get to be the change we want to be. So first things first, we have an order, so we’re going to stick to this order. Deb, who are you and what do you do?

Debra Eckerling 02:03
I’m Deb and I love goals. I am the creator of the Deb Method for Goal Setting Simplified. I am an author, workshop leader, cheerleader, and I am the author of Your Goal Guide, a Roadmap for Setting, Planning and Achieving Your Goals, and the recently released 52 Secrets for Goal-Setting and Goal-Getting, How to Stay Focused, Grow Your Network, and Get More Done in Less Time.

Jess Dewell 02:28
Carrie, who are you and what do you do?

Carrie Haines 02:30
Hi, I’m Carrie Haines with Movement Mortgage. So I help people when they are going to buy a house or if they need to refinance their house, I help on the finance side of that. So walking you through the whole process, that can always not be. It’s not always a super fun process, but I try to make it as easy as possible. And so I guide you through all the way till the end to get your keys.

Jess Dewell 02:50
And Javoy, yay. Who are you and what do you do?

Jevoy Palmer 02:53
I am Javoy Palmer and my whole thing is helping business owners navigate this complicated platform of social media, figuring out how to turn posting into actual dollars, how to get in front of their audience and tell their story, and just like Carrie said, walking them through that entire process of idea to actual execution.

Jess Dewell 03:18
I’m so glad you’re all here because we talk, we can talk about mindset basically any day of any month of any year and it matters. We can talk about flexibility and adaptability and the outcomes of rigidity if we really wanted to. So who knows what we’re going to dig into today and what’s going to come out other than this first part. Which I have asked each of you. To come prepared with a short two-minute answer to an important question that is going to set the stage for the rest of our discussion. And I’m going to start with you, deb. Deb, I want to know, how do you cultivate a mindset that emphasizes adaptability rather than being rigid and needing control?

Debra Eckerling 03:58
I love this question so much, by the way. So the D in the DEB method stands for determine your mission. You can’t get what you want unless you know what that is. So when you’re thinking about the life you want, when you’re picturing it, whether it’s for building a business or work life balance or thought leadership, but having that idea in mind really opens the world for you. So a little bit further along in the D, I talk about creating your mission statement and your motto. And this is your guiding force. When you know who you are, what makes you unique, and how you help as you navigate opportunities, when you use that as your compass, it makes it so easy to say yes to the things that are fit and no to the things that are no, Right? And if something is no, you say, is it another benefit, then you could say yes. But knowing who you are, what you’re about, what you’re striving for really helps you be adaptable because it’s part of that journey. You never know what opportunities are going to come your way. You never know how the people that you meet are going to become advocates and resources and partners, what have you. But when you know, when you’ve got that idea, you can use that. And it does not need to be a straight line. It can be a really amazing journey.

Jess Dewell 05:24
Carrie, I want to know from you. How do you cultivate a mindset that emphasizes adaptability over needing to control and be rigid?

Carrie Haines 05:33
I’m not quite sure that I’ve actually figured out how to properly do this. I think it’s probably one of my. One of my really long time, maybe forever goals. I had an analogy that my therapist gave me, and this was like years ago. And she, it. I take it with me everywhere I go because the world is always changing. So if we try to control it too much, you just go haywire. Whether. Whatever that is, whatever your vice is, wanting to have that control. So what she says is you’re on a boat in a river, and on each side of the river, one side you have this chaos, and some chaos is okay, and it’s good. And on the other side you have rigidness. And that is good too. There’s good sides to both. You have spontaneity on the chaos side and rigid. You have order and things are going a certain way. But when you’re in your boat, if you start to go too much one way or too far the other way, that’s when you go off of the rails. And whether it’s work-related or home-related or whatnot. So trying to remember that it’s okay. To have a little bit of both. You have to have that ying and that yang of both. Both. That for me is what I try and focus on. So if I can feel that I’m like, okay, I’m losing control and there’s a little bit of chaos happening, how do I pull it back and not let it completely derail me doesn’t mean that I have to be rigid all the time, which is where I tend to want to live, is like very structured and rigid. So just reminding myself to. To stay in, in my boat in the middle. And sometimes you’ll bounce one way or the other. But that has helped me a lot. But it will forever, probably be a struggle for me. We’re all there, every human. Everyone I told that to, they’re like, huh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Jess Dewell 07:23
So, Javoy, how do you cultivate a mindset that emphasizes adaptability instead of rigidness and controllingness?

Jevoy Palmer 07:32
It was so funny because as Carrie was speaking, I couldn’t help but relate completely to what you were saying and being in the boat and just reflecting on my own tendencies as it comes to just using some of the words that you asked. Cultivate. For me, that means plant seeds that are going to grow and create a recurring effect that I desire. So whether that be resilience in the form of rejection, whether that be a calm temperaments or temperance in the form of frustration, whatever that looks like for me, and mindset, I’m always trying to find something that I can adapt with that keeps me rigid. In a strange way, I am literally trying to stay so adaptable that no matter what happens, there’s some core that always holds me strong and firm that isn’t shakeable and. And that’s tricky, right, Because Carrie said some people want to do a max of one or a max of the other. But I believe that it’s more so understanding your own habits and putting your own guardrails in your own way to prevent you from doing and acting in certain ways, whether that be reminding yourself of the purpose of why you’re doing what you’re doing, whether that be reminding yourself that you were once just like that person and misunderstood, whatever that looks like, getting in the head and heart of the actual issue and focusing on that has served me very well, which is part of my rigid control that I like to keep. Because if I lose sense of that, I might sway a little bit too much into adaptability. And before you know it, I can’t remember how to get back to what makes me and the core of my message and what I’m actually after.

Jess Dewell 09:20
So I heard some themes across all intention, a willingness to explore and a desire to recognize there’s something that is in the center of everything. Right? That holding piece. And as I was hearing you talk, I kept seeing over and over again a tetherball pole. Does everybody know all of you? Do you all know what a tetherball pole is?

Jevoy Palmer 09:49
Yeah.

Carrie Haines 09:50
Yeah.

Jess Dewell 09:50
Like on a playground.

Jevoy Palmer 09:52
Yeah.

Jess Dewell 09:53
Like I used to run. There’s the pole, and somebody you know it’s going to switch. You might not get all. You might get all the way to the end, and then what you win in the game. But do you really win, or do you get strangled? And if you’re really just big and it’s going all the way, Right? You’re gonna hit things along the way and not know where you’re at. That is what came to mind for me. So now I want to start with this. then. I want to know when you first decided and any this Is this is open table discussion now. So whoever has the answer can go first. And some of us may not have anything to contribute. Enough. Okay. That’s what part of this is all about. What I was. Where I kind of want to start is everybody has a centerpiece, an anchor, maybe that compass, their true north or their tetherball. Whatever visual works for you. I want to know what is at the very center for you and how does it show up when you are trying to move into maintaining adaptability?

Debra Eckerling 10:53
I’ll go because I. As I was saying before we started recording, I’m an extrovert. I always want to go first. So I try not to go first, but I’m okay to go first. And I think that’s part of my Deb brand. But really, I am on a mission to change goal culture in and out of the workplace. Everybody thinks that goal is a four letter word. It is, but it is the good kind. But there are a lot of people who say goals. I said, fine, use whatever word you want. Is it intention? Is it dream? Whatever it is at the center of you. And I believe that we all deserve a wonderful, fulfilling life. And maybe you cannot do anything about your day job, but that should not stop you from starting something on the side to bring you joy. And if you can make big changes, that’s good as well. But the core of everything I do is goal setting simplified. Because changing your life is challenging enough. The instructions need to be easy, so I made them really easy. I believe there are simple things you could do in mere minutes every single day to uplift your vibe and bring you closer to that life that you want. And that is really the center of all that I do, whether it’s through my book, my books, my podcast, my workshops, whatever. It’s all about uplifting yourself and. And uplifting others along the way.

Carrie Haines 12:27
I picked a word for the first time last year and it was intentional. So everything I did, I had to be intentional about because I’ve, I found myself when I go and I’m doing things that maybe don’t align with Deb, saying my goals, that’s when I feel like I’m getting off the rails. So really focusing on that and being intentional about what I’m doing with my day and my time instead of wasting it on things that are not serving either my business or my personal life. Because as soon as I start taking on things that are not serving me and aren’t intentionally something I want to do, it’s when the resentment shows up and I’m overstimulated and all of these things happen going back to that. And while it’s last year’s word, I still, I’m compounding and remembering know what I focused on so hard last year as I go into the new year, because as soon as you go off of that or whatever that is for you, like Deb said, as soon as you go off of that is when you feel yourself derail.

Jess Dewell 13:28
We’re going to pause right here because I’m curious. I totally get that. And building on everything, so do you have a word of the year for this year that you’re working with?

Carrie Haines 13:35
I do. So I have two. So my. Our family word of the year is healthy and wealthy. And my work word of the year is systems and simplify.

Jess Dewell 13:46
Okay, thank you for that. And then, Javoy, do you have anything that you want to add about that to this one?

Jevoy Palmer 13:52
The first thing that came to my mind was sensor and how I utilize it for adaptability. And all I could think of was healthy fears. Healthy fears that keep me motivated, Fears of letting myself down, fears of not being enough and ways to come to a place where I’m not expecting perfection. But at least I know where my current level should be of competence in any given thing and allowing myself the grace to also be afraid of taking it too far. So I also don’t do that either. And so that health across the board keeps me in this closed loop. Why am I stressed about this? Because maybe, it’s because I want to impress. Why do you want to impress? Because I’m. I want to get the job. Why do you want to get the job? Okay, what. What are you scared about? What aren’t you? What are you lacking? Okay, let’s go back to that. How do we fix that? And before you know it, fear is either gone because I worried so much, I fixed it and didn’t have to worry again, or created new worries that then only make the product and products so much better than I could have if I just rested on my laurels.

Jess Dewell 15:04
In our household, we call it the Goldilocks zone. From the three. Right? It’s not too much, not too little, and everything is just right. And I’m hearing that each of you seems to have a little bit of Goldilocks zone in that sense. I am curious, though, to this. I’m going to ask Deb and Javoy, do you do something like a word of the year?

Jevoy Palmer 15:22
Yeah, for sure. Mine was intention as well last year. I think this year would just be described if I could choose one. It would be leverage. I really like that concept of utilizing everything you’ve already learned, even if it’s the most, smallest thing, and turning it into something that helps you get to the next thing. That’s it. It doesn’t require much to get to the next step. I want to utilize that in my own life.

Jess Dewell 15:52
Do you do something like that, Deb.

Debra Eckerling 15:54
What do you think? Of course I do.

Jess Dewell 15:56
Of course, I do have to ask.

Debra Eckerling 15:58
Before I share my words. I do want to let everybody know that I love the word intention, and you guys could totally use it for this year, too, if you want. And one of my words is. And this is one of my words every year is a harmony. There’s something about that word, a harmony, that I’ve always been drawn to. I have. Like, years ago, I led a live writer support group, and this woman was painting rocks and she had one with a harmony on it. And I still have that on my desk from, gosh, probably 20 years. So I just feel like there’s so much power in knowing that you can’t do everything and you have to make swaps and you have to make choices, and that’s okay. So I. That’s always like, the first word. My other two words this year, the next one is legacy. So I’ve got This new book, 52 Secrets for Goal Setting and Goal Getting, where I interviewed a bunch of awesome achievers, one of which is Jess and my mother, who passed away last September, who was always like my biggest cheerleader. I would say she’s the cheerleader’s cheerleader. And she always had. Was like the best brainstorming partner. And, oh, Deb, did you reach out to this person for the books? Always. Just a wonderful part of everything I did. And her fingerprints are all over this book. So she got to see the book being written, but at least not in this format, seeing it go out to the world. I do believe that she’s watching and she’s very happy that this book that’s going to help so many people is out in the world. But I am so blessed that I get to continue to be her legacy and continue to uplift others as she has always done with me. So legacy, absolutely huge word for me this year. And then the third one is breakthrough. So I have been doing this a long time. My background is communication and project management, but I’ve been leading goal groups for years, doing workshops and coaching and all, all sorts of goal strategy sort of things. This book is the mo- and I’ve done a lot of Deb things this book is the most Deb thing I’ve ever done because what I love is talking to people and getting their tips and sharing them. And that’s what this book is. Gathering together people in business, jack, food, entertainment, all the different areas and creating this menu of ideas that are going to help people. Ideas and action items. So I’m ready. I know this book’s gonna help so many people and so this is my year.

Jess Dewell 18:47
Share your thoughts and questions below. I thrive on your feedback and engagement. You’re listening to the Bold Business Podcast. I’m your host, Jess Dewell. This is your program for strategizing long-term success while diving deep into what the right work is for your business, right now.

Announcer 19:06
You are listening to the Bold Business Podcast hosted by Jess Dewell, a nationally recognized strategy strategic growth consultant. She works with business owners and executives to integrate just two elements that guide business through the ups and downs of growth. Number one, know what work is necessary. Number two, do all the work possible. Schedule a complimentary consultation to find out more at reddirection.com.

Jess Dewell 19:38
Last year my word was unity and it doesn’t go from January to December. It goes whenever it shows up and whenever it feels like it’s the right way to go. And it’s usually plus or minus two months from October to February is when something will show up. And it didn’t go away but because I can only my brain is a little and it’s filled with all kinds of unnecessary stuff all the time, I had to choose one. So I’m like, what could I build on with unity? Because synchronicity also showed up. I’m like, how does this work? And what’s really interesting if you combine the two together. I was coming up with nothing. And finally I was like, oh, it’s all intention-based. Oh, it’s all leadership-based. Okay, I’ve been working on that, but I don’t want to do that. There’s gotta be another lens for me to work with. So I went on and I asked Gemini and it also said, by the way, how do you where do they overlap? It also said intention. And I was like, that’s cool, but I want more. So I said, what if we flip it around the other way? Does this stay the same? And it said, oh, it’s ethical. What is about your what about ethic, your ethics and your morals and how are you living? And I went, ooh, ethical living. And so I have to tell you. So there’s two parts to this. That’s where I’m at and that’s a whole life thing. It’s whatever I’m doing has to be encompassed in that because I got. I only got that much space to give it. But here’s the other flip side of this with unity. So how would you, each of you describe really quick, just toss out, what does unity mean to you?

Debra Eckerling 21:00
Uplifting.

Jess Dewell 21:02
Yeah. And easy is what I thought. It was the exact opposite of all of those. So my word of the year, of the period of time showed me the exact opposite of what I thought it was. Of all the ways in my world that needed work so that unity could occur. I was done. And that was really hard. It was a really hard year. So I’m like, really? So ethical living feels really big, but at the same point in time, who knows what that means? So for those of you who pick words and have a hard year, I really want you to understand that there are flip sides to everything, which is where I want to go. This conversation around mindset, as it’s probably exactly what you need it to be. Oh, I’m tired of learning lessons, so I hope my. I’ve learned them, but. So when we think about that, we could even think about one of our own strengths. Right. Everybody tells us we’re good at this or we know we’re really good at this. So when we’re stressed out, we lean into this. When we’re in uncertainty, we lean into this. So I’m going to ask you about your. A trait that you have that you lean into and what it means to. What is the trait, what it means to you, as far as how it helps you navigate. And then I want to look at the flip side. So what’s the flip side of that? And where have you had some learnings because of this awesome trait that you have? Are you ready?

Debra Eckerling 22:14
Before I answer, I want to comment on one of the things that you just said, which is the year does not go January through December. I talk about goals a lot in January just because everybody else does. And it would be really silly for a goal strategist not to talk about it at the beginning of the year. But I. Every week I lead my goal chat conversations. Every outreach I do is about uplifting. And you can restart whenever you know it’s time to restart. So I love that you said that.

Jess Dewell 22:48
Yeah.

Carrie Haines 22:49
And sometimes you can shift where your goals are going to go because you could get halfway through the year and you’ve either blown those goals out of the water or you need to be more realistic at where either your, your current market is and where you’re going to end up going. So it’s okay to shift those. I think we get so stuck on, like, being failures if maybe we don’t hit those or they have to be shifted. But it’s our life, so it’s okay to maneuver those in a different way. We don’t have to. Doesn’t have to be one way or the other.

Jess Dewell 23:19
I knew I was in a room of rule breakers, so let’s just keep going. And that’s actually what we’re doing. We’re going to turn our strengths on their head a little bit and get a little bit vulnerable. Maybe if you’re willing to play with me in that space. Do you have a. Do you have a strength that you lean into that has also helped you accidentally get some learning?

Debra Eckerling 23:36
Do you want to guess what mine is, Jess? I bet you could.

Jess Dewell 23:40
I probably could. Does it have to do with talking?

Debra Eckerling 23:43
It does have to do with talking. I believe conversations are my happy place. And I. And this is, was really interesting. So I added a line to my bio when the book came out, because I’ve been a writer forever also, as well as a talker. And I said, as much as I love writing, I loved hawking even more. And somebody said, but, Deb, you just don’t. You don’t just hawk, you converse. So I do believe that conversations are my happy place. And it does not matter what’s going on. I can always. My mom would say, you turn on the ring light and up goes Deb’s energy. And it’s true, because there. There’s so much we can learn from each other. And for me, it’s just such a joy and a pleasure to be able to highlight other people. And you know this because you’ve been on my show a few times. Usually the people I bring together from my panels like this one, they don’t know each other, and then they leave the conversation, oh, let’s talk some more. Or let’s be on each other’s podcast. So you never know when you introduce people where it’s going to lead. So, yeah, that. That’s my strength, my happy place and my go to all in one.

Carrie Haines 25:07
I think mine is probably. I’ve had multiple people, and I do believe it for myself as well, but I’ve had people that I work with and different business partners and whatnot. I get so much joy out of connecting other people, even if it’s not necessarily something that could come back and benefit me in my business, but the joy of being the person that Says, oh, I know you have to meet this person. Like that joy of bringing people together that maybe otherwise wouldn’t have known each other feels like a really big part of my business, first of all, and just a strength overall and connecting people that I then get to see them in groups together.

Jevoy Palmer 25:49
I find that question interesting for sure because as a person who hasn’t had to write a resume in a while with strengths of weakness, I haven’t even had to think about those. And as I thought about it, I realized that my biggest one, the biggest themed one that has come up in the last couple years is I’ve been so solution driven because it’s the one thing that got me out of my own excuses. That I fail to credit the trauma and history of others in their own journey because I knew what it took to get out of my own head. And I just was like, you’ve gotta, you just gotta do what you gotta do, fake it till you make it, but also want to believe so that you get there, so on, so forth. And I am now starting to realize the error of some of that thinking and how it might to discredit others journeys for the sake of. I get all that. So how do. Why don’t we just skip to the solution? And maybe becoming more debt and being more curious and being more conversational and enjoying the backstory a little bit more. Even if it is not for me at the very least for them to get their own thoughts out and for me to be educated as to what’s affecting their decision-making today.

Jess Dewell 27:19
If I had to pick something, I’d pick belief. My belief in the ability of things, my belief in people, my belief in, in the innate good. And I know in some cases it’s, oh, what are you talking about? The belief in others. Are you just naive or what? Maybe I am. Because here’s the thing. That innate belief that there is something good to be found here, we are connected for a reason. We are intentionally putting our work and our heads, has gotten me lots of money embezzled away from me, has gotten lots of lost friendships, has gotten lots of crazy things that I got to learn from. Let’s just be real about that. But on the flip side, the depth with which I am able to connect and be curious and think and recognize the strategic opportunity there is, that’s the flip side. So my belief has a really strong positive and it also has a really strong negative. And I’ll take the negative any day of the week.

Carrie Haines 28:13
You have to have the belief, even if it’s just in yourself. It’s not like you necessarily have to believe that every single person is. I wish I was more that way and I try to be more that way. But even just as you’re going through life, in your career or wherever you’re at in life, you have to believe that something good is going to come. Because whether it’s the universe, whether you believe in God, whether you believe in the trees, that’s what I always say to people. I’m like, you gotta believe in something and you have to believe that there’s like, you have to believe in yourself and that it’s all intertwined in a lot of ways. So if you don’t believe in yourself.

Jess Dewell 28:53
What do you do when you lose it?

Carrie Haines 28:55
I meditate.

Jess Dewell 28:56
You meditate? You’re like, oh my gosh, I’m totally lost. I’m gonna meditate now.

Carrie Haines 29:00
It’s usually like multiple days.

Jess Dewell 29:02
I’m like, that’s cool, I want to be that clear.

Carrie Haines 29:06
It’s usually like I won’t do it for a while. And then I’m like, something feels off. And my friend said to me, we went to lunch and she goes, I go meditating and I go, it’s like I gotta get up earlier in the morning and I gotta do this and I gotta do that. And then if I don’t do it then I do it at night and. And then you start to feel good and you don’t necessarily do it. And she goes, I think these are just those things that are like. She didn’t say non-negotiable, but in my mind that’s the way I took it. You just have to do those things, whether it’s for your mental health or whatever that is. And so when I can feel myself like I maybe I haven’t done it for a while, I hold myself back in. I’m like, okay, do I want to get up 30 minutes earlier to meditate? No. But I do it anyways because it’s better than the alternative of going off the rails and maybe not believing in myself and my business because that’s. I’m in sales so my. I have to believe in myself for it’s all over.

Debra Eckerling 30:01
That’s why I love the motto as a thing and that’s what I tell people. I’m lost. Okay, go back through the D. Determine your mission. Visualize. Look at where you are now. Look at where you want to be going. Write your mission statement, create a motto so when you are lost, you can use that to recenter yourself. And also remember the why behind what it is you are doing? Because that drive, that’s what gives whatever your endeavors are, it’s what gives them fuel.

Jess Dewell 30:36
I’m your host, Jess Dewell, and we’re getting down to business on the Bold Business Podcast. This is where we’re tackling the challenges that matter most to you with actionable and achievable advice to get real results that lead to your success. Don’t forget, press that bell icon so you never miss a program and it’s time to subscribe as well.

Announcer 31:00
Focused on growth. Listen to more programs like this which support the challenges and opportunities you are working with right now. Search Bold Business Podcast for the key terms at reddirection.com or your preferred podcast listening app.

Jess Dewell 31:16
I’m trying to think. I like meditating. I like journaling. I do some journaling also randomly draw things. I know everybody’s like really into technology these days and it’s great because. Let’s go paperless. How do you take something that you see this organization, whether it’s words or doodles or sticky notes or whatever, and you put it in this electronic form? Even Today, we’re in 2025. Even today, we’re just now starting to get to a place where we could take those electronic uploads and put them someplace and not have to remember what day we did it. Because I will show. I will actually show you. This is from one of my clients that I have, and this is about every single year has a book you can see. Every single thing that’s sticking out has a deal. Every single thing that has a thing. So I can go, oh, we just had a. We just had this situation and you’ve been here before. Hang on just a second. And I go back into my mental brain and I’m like, okay, it was probably a year ago, 14 months ago. I can go figure out and get close. And I’m like, oh, yeah, I’m looking for what else was on the page and I can find it super fast. Technology cannot do that yet. So we’re just now at the place where you can take all these doodles, all these information, this information and stick it into something that can then be read so that you can have it be electronic. And I am actually for the first time going to try this year. One of my goals is can I digitize some sort of my note taking and successfully use it in reflection? Because this is where we mess up. Like, I love the remarkable, but you stick it up there, wherever it’s going to be up there too. And how do you get it back. How do you do? And it’s, it’s gonna, I’m so glad it’s not on my bookshelf, taking up space with my books. But how do I reuse that information? How do I pull it back? What can I synthesize from it? So people always made fun of me because I will not use technology. And I’m like, I reflect. Technology does not allow me to reflect yet. And so that’s. So I’m going to take one of those goals and based off of what we were talking about, like the thing to practice, what can we go back to? And, and I’m okay being a stick in the mud about this because I know I am still more productive in this way without technology. There are other ways in technology all on board for. But for this way it’s different because I do want to take anything I’m journaling and be able to reflect on it, be able to go, oh, I’ve had this happen to me before, or oh, really? This seems like a recurring theme. Is that really truly the case that this is a recurring theme and be able to create something that I could work with to use some of these other tools and make progress.

Debra Eckerling 34:02
Can I make you feel better about your love of paper?

Jess Dewell 34:05
Oh, I don’t feel bad about it, but you can totally add to my love of paper.

Debra Eckerling 34:09
And I too, I always have a notepad or what have you everywhere. I have legal pads that I divide by. This is just for stuff with the book, this is for clients, this is for networking events. In the productivity chapter of 52 Secrets, I have a tip from the publisher at Mango, Chris McKenney. And he is a big tech guy, spent a lot of time in Silicon Valley and his tip is the power of paper or something like that. Paper for productivity. And I just love that. That is the tip from a tech guy is to use more paper. So I had to share it.

Jess Dewell 34:47
So what’s one of the goals that you’re working on right now? Now I’m just curious. Everybody, let’s just spend some time there because then here’s where I’m going with this. Just so you know, we’re going to talk about one of our goals, but then I’m going to ask you a question of have you had a hang up and how are you using what we’re talking about today to stay focused on it and not get rigid or lose momentum. So just so you know, so when you get the goal, keep it in your head after you say it out loud. I’ll help you. I’ll write it down on my piece of paper. What do you think? So what’s the goal that you’re working on right now?

Carrie Haines 35:19
Mine is sticking, like I mentioned it before, but, like, sticking to a routine as far as like self care. Because one of my personal word is one of them is healthy. And whether that’s mental health, physical health, just healthy as a whole in my work life balance, which is a side note, I don’t know if that’s actually possible in all ways, but. And so sticking to getting up earlier and doing my meditation, and there’s other things that I do just so I have a flow in the morning and it feels like it sets me up for a good day. Because when you start doing it, you start feeling great. And then when you start feeling great, you start breaking down those boundaries of you actually wanting to do that. And then you know those things can fall to the wayside. And then you’re like, okay, my mental health isn’t great or my physical health doesn’t feel great because you stop doing. Doing those things. So being more consistent with those and really setting the intention that even when life is great and I feel great mentally, physically, to still do those things, because that is what makes me feel great and gets me to that point. And I feel like we push that off to the side so easily when everything’s peachy.

Jevoy Palmer 36:32
Yeah, I like Carrie’s goal. That’s a very big personal one. And mine stems from past and a bunch of career shifting. And so with that, one of my goals is more of a work goal this year, which is to completely understand my product and my customer. So I feel like there is some discrepancy there or there’s some discovery slash experimentation, flash newness that is happening in that field for me, and I want to explore it to its maximum end so that I have a better sense of what it is that I believe I am the best at my competitive advantage. If I could use a Jess term.

Jess Dewell 37:22
I’m all about that. How you what? What’s your mark? Yes, there’s enough pie for everybody, but if you don’t claim your slice, you miss out. That’s right. Your boy. Yeah. Okay, cool. How about you, Deb?

Debra Eckerling 37:36
This will surprise you all, but in terms of goals, I think in terms of initiatives. So each year I set out do create usually four, like one a quarter different initiatives related to goal setting and goal getting. So believe it or not, the book that came out January 28th was just like a glimmer at the beginning of 2014. I had started having conversations with my publisher toward the end of 2023. We had a couple meetings. The beginning of the year I sent my book proposal in March. I got the yes, the beginning of June. And my manuscript I turned in August, which, by the way, for those unfamiliar with publishing, it is really fast. So I went into last year thinking I’m ready to write another book. I’m really excited about it and the way that it came together. So this year, the goal, the intention, is to really make such a splash with the new book that I get to write many more in the series because there’s so many specifics for 52 Secrets for Goal Setting and Goal Getting. It could be social media, it could be podcasting, it could be growing a business. What is your secret? So my goal is to make such a splash with this book and that people are going to be sending me their secrets so we can include some of them as well and I can curate more books in this series.

Carrie Haines 39:14
Love that. Building off of what is what’s already been out.

Debra Eckerling 39:19
The intention the conversation started. I was speaking with Brenda Knight, who’s my publisher at Mango, who also has a tip in the book. And I said, isn’t it time we do another book together? They published your goal guide in 2020, and we were talking about how we all have these rules for business. The guide boasts that keep us on track and moving forward. And I’m I had always said to my clients, you don’t just want to set goals, you need rules that are going to keep you moving forward on it. And that’s the spark of the idea that evolved into 52 secrets.

Jess Dewell 39:58
What we have to be careful of. I’m thinking back to our mindset question. How do we cultivate adaptability? And how do we have a mindset of adaptability so that we don’t get rigid or so that we can avoid rigidity or. Or so whatever else we would how we would want to phrase that. And I’m hearing a lot of interesting words and now I’m curious because everything we’ve described could accidentally describe virginity, for example. Right? For example, I use the word consistent alone. If I am consistent to a fault, I might be missing out on other opportunities because I’ve carved out too much of my day when I actually need to be able to be working with other people. And I know. So mine is usually around lunchtime or 1:00. I remember carving out and saying, nope, nobody can have that time ever. Turns out a lot of stuff that happens at lunchtime And I was in that phase and in that stage that became a thing. And I had disguised it as consistently doing something. But it was at a cost. A true, real cost. And so I’m curious from each of you with each of the goals that you have shared, and maybe you’ve experienced this with the goals that you’re working on right now, or maybe you’ll have to go to a previous goal. But have you ever found that place where you need to break your own rules? You need to, you, you recognize you’ve been disguising something, but it’s actually been an avoidance or a diversion or a, or it comes at a cost to something that? So you’re accidentally holding yourself back. Have you ever had that moment? And how did you find that moment?

Debra Eckerling 41:31
I only break rules, really. My goal is the definition of adaptability. I want to release several initiatives throughout the year and we will see what they are. So being in that evolution mindset, I released your goal guide right before Pandemic and I released 52 Secrets. I live in Los Angeles right after the horrible LA fires. Unfortunately, adaptability is a little bit built into my book promotion. But what had happened in 2020 is I went within a week from live events to online events, helping people even before they wanted to realize that the world was changing. Say, okay, when you’re ready. These are the things you could do to etch-a-sketch and move forward. I had a point. I think we’re all more. And I just remember what it was. I think one of the gifts from the pandemic is we are more adaptable. We can’t take things for granted because we know things can change on a dime. And I think that mindset helps when you face change for anything is saying, okay, I’ve done this before, I can do this.

Carrie Haines 42:45
What I found is, yes, like I say, I want to have my morning routine and do these things, but also there’s days that just doesn’t fit into what is going to align to make your day work the way that you need it to. And it’s okay. For years I would start a goal and then something would derail it. Life. And then it’s okay to have a derailment and you get right back on. I think when. And Deb can probably speak to this more, but people probably set these goals and then if it doesn’t happen right away or, you know, something derails it, it’s so easy to just throw them to the side when in actuality you should be just giving yourself grace because it’s the season of life. There are going to be things in times when you can’t always stick to that. It’s when you maybe get off of the. Get off of your path, and then you get yourself back on. And it’s okay to have those times. And there’s going to be days when I want to sleep in and I don’t want to meditate, and it’s okay to have those times. Like, you have to have a little bit of flexibility. Otherwise, you’re in the river and you’re sitting on the shoreline of being rigid, and then your life is. You have not a lot of joy happening in your life.

Debra Eckerling 44:03
I also do book consulting, book proposal development, and that sort of thing for nonfiction projects. And several years ago, I had this client, she just had a baby, and basically her push present from her husband was book consulting with me. So we met a few times. I got her on track with her project and put systems in place, and she was going to write the book over the summer. We were going to touch base mid to end of August, emailed her nothing, emailed her again, and several times over the course of a few weeks. And then I’m like, okay, I’m going to back off. I will hear from her whenever. About a year later, I get an email from her saying, Deb, I’m so sorry I started to email you. I got overwhelmed, and I just could not work on the book. But what I did do was the other things that you talked about, which is when you need a break, do something creative or find a hobby, something that you enjoy, that’s going to get you really excited and motivated. And she said, so I started doing those creative things, and that got me back to a place where I could work on my book. And I just finished it, and I’m ready to meet in a couple weeks. So it was a not yet. But she recognized, okay, I can’t do this thing, but I can do this. And that is what brought her back on track.

Carrie Haines 45:26
And that’s having that flexibility to pivot when maybe it’s not going. Life throws you a lot of things. We all know that. This last year, my partner, he was very sick. There were things that I couldn’t do. I knew that there were things I wasn’t maybe gonna hit certain goals or do certain things. And I had to be very selective about where my time was spent. And that’s okay. It’s the season of life that you’re in, and that season can change like that.

Jevoy Palmer 45:55
Yeah, I loved what Deb said with the last part about just being able to pivot and do something in the meantime. Basically, any progress is good progress. And sometimes we’ve set a pace for ourselves that we maybe were never going to be able to keep up with. And so grace is just as useful as being realistic with yourself and honest. And the brutal truth of maybe I put myself in this mental position to be feeling emotionally destroyed by my own goal. And that’s something that I have found myself to be guilty of and am wary of in my own statement from earlier, which was, you know, I want to find my ideal customer and my ideal person that I help and how I truly help them. But in my chase of that, I might miss all these other avenues that I didn’t even consider that are actually better for me than my own goal at the time. And maybe as part of trying to discover something, I am overcompensating for a lack of knowledge in my industry when realistically I should just start and fail and fall on my face and just be okay with that if it’s not something I’m used to. But I find myself trying to sharpen the axe a thousand times before I swing at the tree. And that is its own negative as much as it would be a positive if it hit once and nailed it. Being wary of both outcomes and how they can happen at any time, like Carrie said, is something that I’m keeping in mind because, yeah, these are some very great pitfalls of goals and intentions and things that you know are shiny in the moment that you are going to be using to sabotage yourself.

Debra Eckerling 47:51
Which is why it’s so important to have multiple goals. You’re working towards at least two. And it could be a personal and a professional. It could be two professionals. They could be related to each other or not. But if you’ve got at least two things you’re working on, if you’re stuck on one, you could jump to the other and then jump back and use them to propel you forward in the other.

Jess Dewell 48:17
Okay, I’m going to switch gears just a little bit here, Deb. I want to know. What makes it bold to adapt while staying focused on what you can control and what you’re putting your attention on?

Debra Eckerling 48:27
Owning it is what makes it bold. Just saying I this really owning who you are and what you have to offer the world and knowing that any outcome is going to be good because you know what you’re putting out there is going to be of benefit to other people and just be your bold self and then you can continue to do good for Others, because it’s going to show.

Jess Dewell 48:56
Carrie I want to know what makes it bold, what makes it bold to be able to adapt while staying focused on the things that you’re working really hard at achieving?

Carrie Haines 49:07
I think it’s just being flexible. To me, being bold and having those bold goals and all of that. You have to be flexible and you know there’s going to be things that come up and you have to. In business, we all know you have to go with the flow sometimes while going back to what your roots are and what your goals are, being bold and allowing yourself to be flexible, because that can sometimes be the hardest part.

Jess Dewell 49:34
Jevoy what makes it bold, what makes it bold to adapt while staying focused on what you can control, to move toward your goals?

Jevoy Palmer 49:43
The first thing that came to mind was, and I don’t know if I can use this word on your podcast, I’ll bleep it.

Jess Dewell 49:48
It’s all fine.

Jevoy Palmer 49:49
All right. So to me, faith is sexy is how I want to put it. Because when someone has faith in you and they are willing to divert from maybe a different choice to, to invest in yours, it says a lot about your desirability and your ability to adapt just means that you’re willing to go into situations without all the knowledge, without all of the data, and you’re having a lot of faith. Right? And so even though you say, hey, honey, I don’t know how we’re going to figure this out, but we’re going to figure it out, those are the sweetest words you could say. You haven’t even given a tip yet. But first things first, we can do this. Whatever it does require, we’re going to. To manifest that a bit from effort, from patience, from past pluses, whatever that looks like. We are going to create something tangible out of this path. So that’s something that I find really just to. If I could just use alliteration there it is. Bold in its belief and in the fact that it doesn’t need all the answers in order to provide one.

Jess Dewell 50:59
You heard it here. This is the Bold Business podcast. I’m so glad that Deb Eckerling, Carrie Haynes, and Javoy Palmer joined me today. And don’t forget, you join in this conversation to tell us what makes it bold, what makes it bold to stay adaptable and stay focused on your goals. Until next time.

Jess Dewell 51:18
Every single time I have a conversation, I take away something that I want to share with 25 people. I know when you’re listening to this podcast, you’re also listening for that. And we’ll have something that you want to share in the comments. I would like for you to engage with us. What is that thing that you want to tell 25 people from this program? Here’s why it’s important. It’s important because yeah, there are going to be how to’s. Yes, there are going to be steps. Yes, you’re going to be like, oh, I wish I wrote that down. I wish I wasn’t doing this and I could actually take action on that right now. But guess what? You’re not. So engage right now because that one thing you want to share with others will be the thing that you can figure out how to incorporate in your business, in your workflow, in your style tomorrow.

Announcer 52:06
Jess hosts the Bold Business Podcast to provide insights for building a resilient, profitable business by deeply understanding your growth strategy, ensuring market relevance and your company’s future. It is bold to deeply understand your growth strategy with your host Jess Dewell. Get more information about how to drive solutions and reset your growth mindset at reddirection.com. Thank you for joining us and special thanks to our post-production team at the Scott Treatment.