Essential Negotiation Skills for Business Owners

Starting the conversation:

The top business achievers have one thing in common: they remember the basics. They know themselves and their goals, reflect and assess to figure out what will move their business forward, and prepare. The right small things, including preparation, will make your negotiations successful. You will hear from Christy Maxfield, President and CEO at Purpose First Advisors, and your host, Jess Dewell, Managing Partner at Red Direction, about how practicing and preparing for negotiations will amplify your business growth.

There are three ways Christy and Jess discuss to help you practice your negotiation skills every day.

1. Do your research. Know the people involved, their goals, and their communication styles.
2. Have a clear objective. Know before you begin what you want to achieve and what you have to offer.
3. Anticipate challenges. Prepare for objections, unexpected asks, and bumps in finding common ground to move forward together.

Your strategic growth plan and the priorities you’ve set for your business will benefit from practicing negotiation every day. Research develops into finding new and creative opportunities. Knowing your goals allows you to know what to offer and stay aligned to your objectives. Challenges offer us ways to further get to know ourselves and test our resolve for our goals.

Christy Maxfield, President and CEO at Purpose First Advisors, and your host, Jess Dewell, Managing Partner at Red Direction, discuss how you can practice negotiation every day.

Host: Jess Dewell

Guests: Christy Maxfield

What You Will Hear:

6:10 Be deeply curious and bring empathy as well as compassion to your negotiations.

• Know yourself, use it as your guide.
• It is ok to choose NOT to show all of yourself all the time.
• Preparation allows you to communicate for a specific outcome.

18:00 Plan with the end in mind, build on common values to find how you can win together. Winfinity.

• Think about who is going to be sitting at the table with you.
• You don’t have to agree to be able to find a solution.
• Prepare your ideas ahead of time – including obstacles and opportunities and best possible outcomes.

24:00 Know what to expect while you are in the room.

• Three ways negotiation is misunderstood.
• Negotiation is not a bad thing – ask the question: is it the right thing to negotiate this?

30:30 Prepare, prepare, PREPARE!

• What can I offer, what do I want?
• Know who the people in the room will be and how they think and what their goals are.
• 6 ways to prepare for negotiations, explained.

49:00 It’s all communication, so get practicing your negotiation skills every day.

• Nothing lives in isolation.
• What can make it easier to get what we want?
• 3 stories of preparation and planning
• Reduce the drama (and anxiety) by knowing what you want and what you are willing to do.

3 Takeaways

1. Negotiation is a type of communication.
2. Preparation can start now.
3. Negotiations may become several conversations.

Resources

• 4 Negotiation Strategies for Everyday Life, NPR
• Masterclass: 5 Styles of Negotiation
• 3 Successful Business Negotiations
• Pitch Anything

Transcript

Jess Dewell 00:00
I’m so glad you’re here. Thanks for stopping by. At the Bold Business Podcast, we are normalizing important conversations. Yes, there are tips. Yes, there are ways to solve problems. More importantly, are going to be what do you need for yourself to be able to solve those problems and make the most of the education, the training and the programs that you are already using, this is a supplement to that. It can sit on top of it, fuel your soul, fuel your mind, and most importantly, regardless of where you’re at on your journey, maybe you’re starting out, maybe you’re ready to scale, maybe you’re going through a reinvention, the conversations we are having will help you at each of those stages. So hang around see what’s going on, and I look forward to seeing you engaging with our videos.

Christy Maxfield 00:49
If it’s all about me and winning, then I’ve limited my strategies completely.

Jess Dewell 00:54
Yeah, if you’re a winner and you gotta win, do it now. Create winfinity. So how does the other person win? Too?

ANNOUNCER 01:04
Welcome to It’s Your Business. Brought to you by the Bold Business Podcast. This is your go-to source for navigating today’s ever-evolving business landscape. In this program, Jess and Christy share the realities of current business challenges and triumphs. Get ready to lead with depth, understanding and achievement.

Jess Dewell 01:27
Welcome to It’s Your Business live, and we’re talking about navigating today’s ever-changing landscape. And we’re brought to you by the Bold Business podcast. I’m your host, Jess Dewell. And on each of these programs, we’re getting really real about current business challenges and triumphs and what we can do to make the most of what we’re doing. And before I say anything else, I want to say Christy’s here with me, whichever direction she is in your feed, and we’re going to introduce ourselves a little bit more in just a moment. So join us. We’re going to work on our assertiveness. We’re going to work on the dynamicness. We’re going to face our challenge and what it takes to run a business today in an ever-changing, fast-paced world, faster and changing faster than ever before. Let’s venture together and here we go. Okay, Christy, tell us who you are.

Christy Maxfield 02:22
Christy Maxfield, carpe, first advisors. We do growth consulting through the lens of secession and Exit Planning. So we want to plan and grow with the end in mind.

Jess Dewell 02:32
And I’m Jess and when I’m not hosting the bold business podcast, I consult with red direction, where we’re figuring out the next best step, because that next wet, best step actually is pointing you five years, 10 years down the road. And guess what? If you don’t know where that 10 years is, we don’t know what the next step is, so we work backwards from that day to day, all the messy awesomeness, to have success and failure and just enjoy the ride, or look back with fondness on the ride. How about that Christy,

Christy Maxfield 03:01
But we all talk about being overwhelmed. Rarely are we underwhelmed. It’s usually a meal or a movie or a date. Those are the things that underwhelm us, and everything else is overwhelming us. That might be a whole nother topic of what are our expectations. And it’s for something to be awesome, I have to be in awe of it. And then how can I take in the awesomeness of whatever’s happening before I let the feeling of overwhelm overshadow whatever other feelings might be coming up in the face of awe? I think Welcome to my messy awesomeness might be because it just seems to be a great invitation to people

Jess Dewell 03:41
When we talk about it and we make it real. It doesn’t matter if we’re super literal. It doesn’t matter if all we want are facts and figures. It doesn’t matter if all we’re looking for is our lifestyle, or we want to nurture other people, or we want excellence. What matters is we’re trying to figure it out, and we need to figure out where other people are so we can communicate effectively, and that’s actually our purpose of today. Why is negotiation important today? Because we’re doubling down on ourselves. We’re getting to know ourselves. We know what we want. We might even be writing it down. Whatever we’re doing that, that need to be heard and understood is just as important as taking the time to figure out who you’re talking to, to communicate in a way that can be received in that positive way. And that’s that piece of negotiation when we accidentally read between the lines in an email or a text.

Christy Maxfield 04:37
Oh yeah.

Jess Dewell 04:38
We miss it when we actually think we’re brainstorming and the other person thinks we’re bringing solutions. We’re bringing solutions, or vice versa.

Christy Maxfield 04:46
Or making decisions. We think we’re brainstorming and the other person thought we were making decisions.

Jess Dewell 04:49
Yes, big one, big one. And this concept of negotiation, and in everyday negotiation nonetheless, so that’s why it’s important right now, right? Here in our first section, what are we saying? Is it being received? So we have to pause and consider the other person or people to know how to communicate with them, to get that reciprocity. And it’s almost counterintuitive, because we are in an age where it’s this is me, take me or leave me as I am, and that’s getting in our way of growing ourselves and our business.

Christy Maxfield 05:25
And I have to say, I’m guilty of that. I used to really resist the idea of emotional intelligence because I felt like it was telling me I couldn’t be my authentic self, and I had to change and morph into something else. And it wasn’t until I realized that I could still be my authentic self, but not necessarily share all the parts of my authentic self at the same time, or that I could make a very legitimate and authentic choice on how to communicate my authentic self with the goal of being better understood and better heard, so that it’s not that I didn’t feel angry, it’s that I made the choice not to express what I was feeling in a way that made other people feel angry and upset, because that didn’t get me the desired end result of whatever I was trying to come to and so being curious about myself, being curious about them, and actually asking myself the question of, so this isn’t okay. I’m upset. I want a different outcome. How can I show up? How can I communicate? How can I negotiate? How can I ask questions that will get me my desired end result, right? And when we think about negotiation. We think about it in this I think about it. I’ll speak for me. I think about it in this very formal context, like we have entered a negotiation. The truth really is, every day I wake up and I navigate and negotiate the different people I’m interacting with, the different situations I’m encountering. I’m always trying to communicate in a way that gets a specific result, and if you we’re gonna have lots of resources for you at the end of this. But one of the ones I go to a lot is Chris Voss and his book never split the difference. And he really does define communication as, I’m sorry, negotiation. He defines negotiation as this very intentional form of communication with a very specific desired end result. And if you are successful in your negotiation, you have successfully asked for and received what you were hoping to get. And you may not even realize, in the course of things, that you or the other person with whom you’re negotiating doesn’t actually want the thing that they are asking for, but it represents and it is a pathway to the thing they really need. So they really need to be heard and understood. But I had to do something to get your attention and to bring you to the table. Hold something or someone hostage, hold a piece of information hostage, or we’re putting it in business terms, rather than the FBI terms that he uses, and the experience I’ve never actually had to save somebody from ransom. But if you think of those extreme cases where you can’t split the difference, you can’t get, like, half the hostage, and everybody, like you take half the hostage, I’ll take half the hostage, and we’ll all just call it a day. I need to get the whole hostage, and honestly, I don’t want to incentivize anybody else to do so. I need to do it with the least amount of trading of resources as possible, right? And if I then go into my business life and I say somebody’s holding something hostage, maybe that’s the scenario I’m in. It’s not always what I’m negotiating, but they’re holding something hostage, why are they holding it hostage? What do they need from me that they’re not getting that they needed to do this to get my attention, or we’re coming to the table and we’re trying to negotiate an outcome? Is it a win? Possibility? That’s one strategy, but it’s not the only it’s the one we’re encouraged. I would think, in mainstream parlance, it’s get the win situation. But there are times where both of us will not actually win. One of us will not leave the table with the thing we came asking for. How can we still get to a resolution and move forward from there? That just fascinates me. I’m not a good practitioner of this really, I need to practice practice. But these the think that the fact that there are ways we can communicate that can result in somebody leaving the table without the thing they came for and feel good. Chris Voss tells me that’s possible. That’s like, super fascinating to me.

Jess Dewell 09:38
To do everything that you were sharing about just now is we have to know who we are and what our guiding principles are. Some of us are going to call those principles. Some of us are going to call them pillars. Some of us are going to call them values. You might even have a manifesto, right? Whatever that is, I have a manifesto. I like my manifesto, but I also have values, and my personal values are different than the ones. I have for red direction, and I built that way specifically because if I don’t know who I am, but I make my personal values my business values as the CEO, that’s hard to scale. It’s very hard to scale. And so every time I want to bring somebody on, every time I want to hire, every time I want to explore a new project, I leave no room for somebody else to fully bring themselves. And so I made a conscious choice. This is one of my negotiation pieces, right? How do I make sure we’re all hitching our wagons together and moving in the same direction without limiting somebody else’s contribution in their own unique way. So that’s one form of like day to day negotiation. It’s also true for my family, my personal values support, my family values. I can act. I can actually step into and go, Yep, this is what my family values are, and I feel good and whole here, versus you’re not doing that value right? What can we do to change this behavior? And by the way, that’s actually in business too. If they’re your own values, and you’ve made them part of your company, then what as you’re stepping into this that’s not what this means. How come you’re not doing it this way and it causes this underlying problem? And then you have way more negotiation, and there’s also frustration. There’s negative emotions, not neutral anymore, definitely not positive. We’re working from a negative place where there’s more to overcome, which means more time has to be involved, which means things will go slower, which means more things will fail, which means the needle will move or stop more often. And so that’s where knowing yourself and how you fit in, but how somebody else can also fit in fully, wholly comfortably. To be courageous and bold, because every single person in a company today, we really do have to be courageous and bold to make any progress and ensure our relevance in the future.

Christy Maxfield 11:57
And we have to be able to identify what a courageous and bold behavior looks like, whether we’re defining our values, understanding ourselves for the purposes of negotiation and living our values, the need to define how the things we believe show up in a behavior. What does it mean to be bold and courageous and innovative I would be able to I know it when I saw it all tying back to being curious about others. What do they value? What are they trying to achieve? Why are we at the table together? And how can I better understand what they’re driving at and driving for? And how can I depersonalize it? Because if it’s all about me and winning, then I’ve limited my strategies completely.

Jess Dewell 12:47
Yeah, if you’re a winner and you gotta win, do it now create winfinity. So how does the other person win to you?

Christy Maxfield 12:55
Winning actually doesn’t allow space for them to be win the soul. If that’s a word as well, then what’s the consequence of that? Does that actually harm some of your long-term goals? Does that irreparably damage the relationship, whether we’re planning with the end in mind so that we can grow your company in an intentional way, or planning with the end in mind about what our next conversation is going to yield and the outcomes and experiences that will come from it, the clearer we can be about who we are, what we value, who the person across the table is, what they value, and where they may value something so much. But that, to me, is not consequential, and if I can give that to them, then I might actually be very successful in the negotiation, because I’m not trying to convince them to come to my side. I’m actually meeting them where they are with something that, for me, in relative terms, is an easy yes or an easy offer.

Jess Dewell 13:53
So now I’m thinking about budgets. Okay, so if we’re talking about this, we have our values, we have our goals, we have the amount of resources to do this. And when we are showing up, one of the things we show up to that we have to negotiate for is salaries, ability to pay for the licenses, what licenses and things like that, and they drive initiatives within organizations, usually, to become more efficient. But realistically, I think we just need to call it what it is. We don’t have as much money to spend, so we’re not going to spend that much money. So how can we change and what are those dialogs? And so then it’s who do we know that we could bring in to make sure we have all the right information.

Christy Maxfield 14:30
Maybe a member of my team is coming and saying, we need to spend more money on x. Understand my values, right? If I’m a business owner who’s driven by highest possible revenue, my question would be great, show me how fast and how much you can generate an additional revenue on this if I’m a business owner who really prioritizes long-term profitability and the ability to reinvest in the business, I might say, Yeah, I see how you drive revenue. But could you also demonstrate. Rate how this impacts not just the top line, but the bottom line. And again, knowing what’s important to the person on the other side of the table. If I’m trying to negotiate more budget for the thing I think is important, it better be in alignment with the other side.

Jess Dewell 15:14
Yes, let’s say I’m the director in a company I know we need to make a change, or there’s an opportunity to save money and get more service or some other value that’s important to where we’re going. But I have a but it’s a big deal to change, and there’s a cost investment to change. Whatever this changes. I’ve got it. I can think about it two ways. I can think about it this aligns with whatever our initiatives are. Here’s the time of the year where this is we’re actually think, we’re always thinking about money, but when we’re actually planning our budget, we think about things a little differently, and other people will become part of that conversation just because it’s close to planning time, and we have to understand and be prepared for that. One of the things I’m hearing and would like to expand on, maybe, is this concept that negotiate that what is it persuasive communication or persuasive writing that we all took at least one semester of somewhere in our education, maybe before high school ended, maybe in college, maybe as a business person. But that is really important, because what does it say? Here are the words that you use to be influential, but the words that you the influential words, or the words you’re trying to get your point across with matter to who’s sitting across the table from us.

Christy Maxfield 16:25
How do I make sure that your answer can’t be yes or no? How do I make sure that you have to share a little bit more with me about what it is you’re trying to achieve? How can I make you feel heard, even if I don’t agree? Right? Understanding someone doesn’t mean I necessarily agree with them, but I received the information. I putting it in my own words, I’m putting it back to you, and you can feel as though I understand the scenario. And then we can say, So, how are we going to achieve that? Like, what’s it going to take? How committed are we? The other thing is, it requires us to stay turned toward one another. And one of my other favorite references for this is Dr debor Roberts created the communication protocol. It’s a module series that really believes that, as do I, is a foundational piece to all the other trainings you might put your team through. It’s like, how do we communicate with each other, particularly, either to avoid conflict or to resolve conflict? And it requires that we are in a relationship that is turned toward and not away from each other. I can’t negotiate with you with my back to you. I can’t reason with you with my back to you. I can’t communicate that I sincerely want to achieve a similar goal with my back to you. And then what’s at stake? Do we both understand what’s at stake here, and is that compelling enough for us to stay turned towards each other, to have this, to have this dialog to and with the goal, an explicitly stated goal, shared goal of finding a resolution.

Jess Dewell 18:09
We’re actually bringing in a lot of compassion. We’re using a lot of words. We’re talking about feelings, and we’re talking about understanding people. This is typically outside of what we think about when we think about the facts and the figures and the processes and the systems of business, and this is where the change is happening. The Tipping Point happened. It’s happened in my work lifetime. So sometime in the late 90s to now, there is, there has been a tipping point, and we might still be at that centerpiece where we haven’t fully tipped yet. We know people are important. We know that this is the way forward. Yet we’re still we still choose to be bound by all of those rigid things that tend to go against compassion, and that means compassion in any capacity. I can’t have compassion for you because of these rigid things, or if I have compassion for you, then you’re going to perceive me as whatever. You’re going to perceive me in a negative way. And so this is so I was actually thinking about off Silicon Valley, that TV show, right? So we’re talking about this compassion, this empathy, this understanding that people are at the center, yet the absurdity and the craziness, and by the way, a lot of realness built in to the to it into Silicon Valley, right in that TV show. And so it’s because sometimes that’s our Mo sometimes that’s a personality I worked for a CEO who was a win at all costs, and that was the hardest time of my life. I also worked for a CEO who refused to get out of the gray and it was only black or was only white for I was like. How do we get out of the gray so I always came with something that was solidly outside of this undefined, fuzzy place, and that actually reflected negatively on me. I’m like, how do you actually make decisions that move the needle when everything is fuzzy and changing from the time we got into the room to the time we came back to the room after we refilled our water, taking a little reflection of what are the things have we worked for somebody that we really liked or aligned to, which, by the way, I’m not saying that CEO who is a win at all costs is a bad CEO. They did a very good job for a very long time. It just wasn’t a style I could work well with always felt at a deficit. So it was the place where I was like, Oh, look, I can’t bring my whole self here. Oh, look, what am I not doing? Oh, look, there’s opportunity being missed, because I’m either going to just not go there, I’m not going to try, I don’t know how, or I know what the answer is going to be. And by the way, every single time we think of those, that’s the clue. It’s time to stop and pause, because we’ve been talking this first section has been about, how do we stay curious, know ourselves, be willing to approach others. This second section of our program is about what do we expect when we’re in the room together.

Christy Maxfield 21:17
Knowing your desired end result, right? And also a negotiation, isn’t necessarily a single conversation. It may, in fact, be an ongoing dialog where we ask questions and learn more information and can assess where we’re going. I think compassion is one way of looking at it, but also empathy, to empathize with our customer and understand them and understand what their problem is and talk to them in the language that they use to describe the pains and that they’re trying to solve for. Why wouldn’t we bring that same empathy into the boardroom or to the negotiating table or to conflict resolution or just general communication with the idea of, how do I assume good intent? How do I give the benefit of the doubt? How do I clearly state what my desired outcomes are not because usually someone might say, Don’t tip your hand. But if you don’t know what I’m trying to achieve, and I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve, it’s going to make our discussion, our negotiation, a whole lot harder. And if we can also agree that negotiation is not necessarily a bad thing, I think it has a stigma of when I’m negotiating with someone, they’re trying to get the most out of me. I’m trying to get the most out of them. It’s contentious. There’s some animosity.

Jess Dewell 22:46
You’re listening to the Bold Business Podcast. I’m your host, Jess Dewell. This is your program for strategizing long-term success while diving deep into what the right work is for your business right now.

ANNOUNCER 23:01
Focused on growth? Listen to more programs like this, which support the challenges and opportunities you are working with right now. Search Bold Business Podcast for the key terms at reddiction.com or your preferred podcast listening app.

Jess Dewell 23:18
You want to know something, and I’m glad we’re talking about negotiation, because I’m thinking about this and I’m thinking, oh, so let’s leave the work here. We’re shutting this off, and we’re going home, and I’m in the kitchen filling up a glass of water after a long day, and my husband says to me, what do you want to eat for dinner? And I’m like, so guess what? This is the negotiation beginning of who’s going to decide and then make did? It’s always not bad, but somebody’s going to have to give and do the making, just the decision making and the getting right, the getting of the going and whatever that is, recognizing those things of when do we get into negotiation? Nobody wants to make a decision. My very first business crush. I saw him in real life at it was actually back then. I think it was Infusionsoft now it’s keep one of their big things they had, the guy who wrote Pitch Anything. And I love him. Love everything about him. And the biggest thing to this day I still remember is negotiations have nothing to do with me. Negotiations have to do with an outcome that’s separate of me and separate of the people that I’m working with, communicating with, persuading, and so who are we talking to? And my second biggest takeaway was the majority of the work that Oren Klaff does is before he ever gets in a room with people, and sometimes the goal is, doesn’t even have to be in the room. It can be conversations leading up to the room that change these things. So it’s all in the preparation, and it’s all understanding who. You’re talking to and what their goals are, and he’s coming from an investment perspective. So put money into this to do this thing, right? So you’ve got people who only want to return. You’ve got people who want to make an impact. You’ve got people who say they care about one thing but actually make decisions based off of something else, and that research about each person that’s involved in the decision making. Maybe, if you want it to be the upper hand or to have all the information, that’s great, because there is value in having information, and the more information that you are armed with and prepared with and understand, the less likely there is to be sideways conversations or triggers from us as we’re having these conversations, and so I think about what Oren was talking about, and that’s a huge one in that right the Pitch Anything, then what’s even funnier, there’s another book that I loved, and it’s called this one. I actually have my Pitch Anything book is not with me. Here it is in a different location. I do have it, and I do recommend it, but this one is the what they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School. By the way, this was written in 1984 I do believe they teach some of these in Harvard Business classes. Now, at the time…

Christy Maxfield 26:15
Just because it doesn’t mean it’s actually all the time through you work, still 2010…

Jess Dewell 26:21
I think, is it. And by the way, there are going to be many people out there that aren’t going to take a Harvard business school class, but would still like the information. Hands down, I probably read it between 1998 and 2001 okay, the time frame, I was almost 20. How about that yellow pop? That was a youngin. And there were two things that came up because we think about this, right? One of the things we think about negotiation is that we have to be quick on our feet. And we know that’s a myth, by the way, but we’re quick on our feet if we’ve prepared. So the thing is, where are we spending the time? Are we spending the time to think and process in the moment and maybe utilize silence and pacing of the conversation, or are we going to do all of the research ahead of time so that based off of what’s coming in, we have something then to filter through, to see, can we What’s that? How do we make progress? How do we get to where we’re trying to go? And he talks about thinking on your feet the exact same way. People are getting lucky. They know what to say. They can think on their feet because they’ve taken the time to decide what’s my goal, what are the outcomes that would be good for us, what are the outcomes that would be detrimental for us? And then that leaves a whole bunch of things in the middle for us to work toward.

Christy Maxfield 27:35
And maybe you can’t think quick on your feet. Chris Voss, who I have a fan girl crush on, I would say, what are there certain phrases that you can get comfortable saying that will actually create more of that space for you? Like, how could, how can I do that? If you turn back the phrase on, if you respond to what the request is with, how can I do that? You actually get the other person to think about that question, right? Which the in a negotiation? It’s not actually their job, right? Unless you make it their job, and if you make it their job, then they’re going to co create a solution with you, versus say, this is the solution we have to have. So are there even some phrases that you can get comfortable with using knowing that they’re going to open up more space and what’s really what you need. You need more space. You need the other person to think about things differently, and you need to create the opportunity for them to reconsider what it is that they’ve put before you, I was thinking of the scenarios where negotiation shows up with a big end and a small end. When we get prepared for a prospective client meeting, one of the things that I find owners, sometimes and sales people tend to do is to try and Intuit what they should have prepared, versus looking at it as the first in a series of conversations that help you gather information to make the right pitch. So if in the context of Pitch Anything, then how can I have a conversation that reveals what’s most important to you? And then how can I position what it is I’m willing to offer, not necessarily what you’ve asked for, but what I’m willing to offer any way that helps you see it being connected to the things you’ve already told me you care most about, right? So then positioning, if you would, and then if I get objections, because that’s also where I feel like I’ve worked with owners who will lowball their proposal to essentially escape negotiation, right? They that they don’t want to haggle, they don’t want to have counter offers, right? And but if I build my proposal based on what I think is both a good fit. And addresses your core needs, and you come back with a counteroffer, then we can have an actual dialog about what would have to be reduced in order to get to the price you’re asking me for, right? This is me assuming, oh, you won’t pay X. I shouldn’t even propose x. I’m going to propose y, because I’ll get to a yes. Sometimes the worst thing you can get is a Yes, right? Sometimes I don’t necessarily want to know, but I actually get surprisingly few no’s. I think I actually get more not right now, thinking about how you feel about negotiation and communication in this way, and what is it influencing you need to do when you show up to pitch your product, service company, position yourself to acquire a new client, acquire a new investor, acquire a new partner. What kind of feelings about negotiation as this concept are clouding your ability to see it as simply a intentional communication process, rather than this thing to be avoided because it makes me feel uncomfortable. And in some cultures, not in mine, but in some cultures, the negotiation or haggle is seen as part of the process, that there’s a pleasure in it to see what’s possible. Again, it’s not personal. If you’re taking pleasure in that process, you can’t possibly be taking it personally other than to say, I think I’m really good at this. I got the best price, or whatever the case may be, or they were willing to pay way more than they should have, because I was really, really good about how I anchored their expectations and managed their objections. But there are cultures where it’s not only expected, but part of a pleasurable, non adversarial exchange between people?

Jess Dewell 32:04
Yeah, what a think. Who would have thunk by the way, you’re listening to it’s your business brought to you by the bold business podcast. And we are talking about negotiation. We’re talking about negotiation in a way that takes it out of the big things and brings it to the everyday things, from our life to our encounters with strangers on street to business, day to day, maybe even sometimes, how you answer an email or a text at this point, that’s a whole thing because, and it’s important today, everything changes fast. So when we’re rooted in what we know is true for us, we rooted in we’re rooted in how we know where we’re going and what will help us. We can then expand out. We can expand out and think about how do we want to approach a situation so that we can get the best outcome? And we found six ways to negotiate that we’re going to share with you right now, as we’re going through the six, I’m going to ask you after which one is most like you and which one is least like you. Okay, because this, and by the way, listeners, watchers, I want you to do the same thing, because there are way more than six. I picked these six with Christy specifically because it’s not a big number. We could work with this, and we have more than just a few options to work from as we’re having this conversation. So the first two I’m going to give you are from what they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School. One is to negotiate backward, because if we understand where the other person wants to be, then we can take those steps back to how do we have the conversation? What do we bring so that we can get what we want and they get what they want, but we’re starting with the end in mind. So one, negotiate backwards, two, trade places. Put yourself in their shoes. What are they going through? Is this something that they really need to be able to stay in business or to be relevant in the near future or to just get through the day because it’s a hard day. Whatever that is, if you can envision what it would be like to put on their shoes and be in their situation and hearing from you, what would that look like? So Trading Places, the next one I’m switching, by the way, I will link to this article too, which is from NPR use classic negotiation tactics in everyday life. So number three is the best alternative to a negotiated agreement, which basically is, what’s the backup plan if something becomes impossible or not possible? Right now? What’s the best backup plan? The fourth one is a menu of options. And so these are just yesno answers, select and move on, by the way. And more often than not, that works with the broccoli, okay. The tactic for the win the fifth one is. I think, is that where I’m at 1234, I think so. Is the Win. Win strategy. What is something that makes everybody feel good and has positive ripples, and the extra positive ripples, I call winfinity, but starts with the win, and the sixth one is benchmarking. What’s fair and what is the range of fair? These are the six and Kristy. I want to know which is the one that you default to.

Christy Maxfield 35:25
I probably go to negotiating backward, because my brain tends to work that way. What am I trying to achieve? And then what do I have to do to get it? And I think that’s probably my default. I think benchmarking is one of those approaches that we are really trying to shift, and perhaps even ingrained in the way we work moving forward, if we’re committed to equity, and so that it’s not just fairness, but what is equitable? That, if I have to negotiate a scenario, there may actually be circumstances where what is equitable isn’t equal in a certain circumstance. I don’t think it’s my default, but I think it’s one of those things that, especially when I have time to reflect that it’s a strategy that’s important in many, if not all, situations. And then I also just think about, is there a willingness to walk away? Going back to the idea that one of the reasons why we might try to avoid scenarios in which we feel like we have to negotiate is because we feel vulnerable in those if I make you an offer and you come back and say, Can you do it for $10,000 that you’re going to this idea that getting 10,000 instead of 20,000 is better than having nothing, not always the baton it to that might be walking away. The best alternative to a negotiated outcome might be, I actually have to walk away from this, because those terms are just not doable, which brings in all sorts of other feelings that we grapple with as owners and folks who are constantly trying to build and establish the ability of our company to thrive. They’re getting comfortable with the fact that there’s going to be a scenario if we’re really doing what we’re doing. Well, there are probably going to be some scenarios where we walk away, rather than try to find any of these alternatives.

Jess Dewell 37:25
I’m going to start with the one I use least, or it doesn’t occur to me, and it’s the Banta the best alternative because I don’t necessarily, because I quickly am like, Okay, we’ve come to we all need more information, or we all need a breather, right? Because sometimes we come to a place where I’m in a room and I’m like, I don’t have enough information, or enough has been shared, I’d like to regroup. I can also sometimes tell that on somebody else’s face, and if any person in the room, whether it’s two or whether it’s 20 or more, anybody who has that then it becomes more problematic later, and we get more resistance later to actually getting to execute and implement what we agreed upon. While I like the idea of Banta my it’s my least go to only, because sometimes we just need to break we need to, like, go to our separate corners and regroup a little bit, or have a half time. And that halftime could be more than 10 minutes or 15 minutes, or whatever it is, right? Definitely more than the seventh-inning stretch in baseball. And so that’s my thought about that. But my go to is actually not win. I talk about infinity all the time, but it’s not win. It’s the it’s benchmarking, what’s the acceptable range to what, what’s neutral, what’s super positive, where do we get to negative? And what is that range? And I’m usually in that place, and that’s my go-to specifically, because those are the situations where I am. I’m a consultant. I’m paid to be there and observe and see so I’m looking at everything that’s happening. I’m listening to everybody, but my preparation is what’s the benchmark, and then when we get in, other strategies may be part of that, and something may bubble to the top to get us to the end goal. But I’m all in even this is even at home too. When I’m doing planning for red direction, when I’m in a room with clients and there and other people, when I’m negotiating vegetables with my son or myself, can I be real with you, or the negotiating vegetables with myself? Benchmarking?

Christy Maxfield 39:28
And then I’m looking at the list we just went down, and I’m thinking, some of those are strategies, some of those are desired outcomes, some of those, all of them are thinking through, what’s the best way to have this conversation so I get the result I want.

Jess Dewell 39:43
Head, heart, gut. I’m a gut girl. So to your point, if it feels wrong, I’m happily will walk away. Or, how about not happily, I will willingly walk away forever for a break. It doesn’t to be determined, but I do know that. I think that if we’re head people, if we’re. People, if we’re gut people this, these tactics actually help us bring in the other ones as well.

Christy Maxfield 40:05
Having different ways of knowing and relying on different sources of information to inform your decisions and how you choose to show up and communicate and what you’re willing to, to do or not do. That’s all part of what we do when we have these conversations, is reveal that it’s not just one thing, right? Negotiation can’t live in isolation from other forms of communication and prioritizing your work. Can’t live in isolation from what is your goal setting, and how are you or are you clear on your vision, which can’t live in isolation from what kind of resources do I have to execute this? Right? These are conflict. None of the stuff we do is as business owners. None of it lives in isolation. So we have to really understand how these things that require are required of us in our pursuit of being successful, profitable businesses where people enjoy working and we’re providing value for our community and our clients that it requires us to have a multitude of skills and to equip our team with a multitude of skills, and however communication shows up, whether We call it negotiation, or how conflict resolution or any of it right, understanding why we feel the way we feel, and understanding why we say what we say, and understanding what is better heard and what is better received. All of that helps us, and all of it helps us be better business owners, leaders, contributors to our company, to our community, to our families. So we’ve got to get practicing. How about we show up? If we show up combative, like we’re trying to negotiate, or passive or aggressive? Can show up in lots of different ways. If I want to haggle with you, I’m still trying to haggle with you because I want to feel less bad and more bad.

Jess Dewell 42:01
I actually brought some stories from my company and from clients. So I’m not going to tell you who’s who. I’m just going to tell you these are a conglomeration of stories. And this was really important. In a room thinking about employee retention, and in this room thinking about employee retention, what came clear was the CEO did not wish to change certain things, and the people that were being hired that ultimately left before training had been completed, there was a gap. And the gap that was found was, hey, this is what the expectation was. Nobody ever communicated that or actually put it into how does my work support this expectation? And it got tiring, and the things weren’t met. People felt bad and they left the CEO’s like, why is everybody always leaving me? And so we have to shift as the CEO, and in that role the CEO, their job was to say, okay, so this is our mission, and this is how it goes out. And here are my strengths and here are my weaknesses. What are the people that I’m surrounding myself need to have? They can’t be just like me. They can’t be yes people. But what do they need to have to do their job to accomplish our mission and and to feel connected to the expectation. And we spent a year actually going through the process. So this was client. We spent a year going through the process of, how am I thinking about this? When something unexpected happened? What was it? And it was always came back to that gap so defining. Oh, here’s a place where my gap showed up. How do I implement this? And in this company, they’re growing very fast, and there really wasn’t time to do this. And so the secondary piece of working for a year on it was because we had to shift perspective of highest and best use of time, which meant doing different work, not less work, different work. And that was a huge piece, too. And the outcome was there were some bumps in the road. They now have retention, and they are growing their industry, though, is changing so much. They have different challenges, but because of that gap change, they are prepared to face what they’re facing today, with technology disruption, with process disruption that replaces and automates them. So that’s an so that’s actually a negotiation that this CEO had to have with themselves and show up in practice over and over again. We have to tie it to how we actually make money, too. And so what’s the negotiation I can do all this, we seem to be able to afford it. The books say we’re making money, but are we and how is that money? And so what are we looking at? And so in another scenario, the CEO had to learn what is each role, what do they contribute? And how do we tie this to? Outcomes, money or otherwise. Doesn’t matter what the outcomes are, but that they are measurable in some way. And then once those outcomes were measurable, now we can actually have conversations and negotiations of when somebody wants a raise. We can have conversations about the metrics, because we have data, and we see the data, and they see the data, and it allows us to have a really good conversation. And sometimes it makes sense to give raises, and sometimes it doesn’t. Doesn’t mean shouldn’t ask. It just means sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it doesn’t. So there’s a case to be made, right? The negotiation on one side, but there’s also the nobody’s asked for a raise, I feel like I need to give a raise. So now what? Yes, we tend to put it on the employee there. But I’m going to also include the other piece of that, because in this particular scenario, it was, how do we pay our people more? How do we know we can pay our people more without accidentally putting ourselves in a bad situation? And that took. It took three months to fully understand, and it took five employee conversations to really feel like it became part of the culture. And then it’s just the way things are done. With always the opportunity of messy awesomeness shaping it every single time I was going to bring it back in no matter what.

Christy Maxfield 46:22
Oftentimes, I think employees approach their presentation of new ideas as a negotiation, because again, it goes back to that persuasive piece, and the you as an owner, you as a leader, don’t necessarily have to agree with the proposition. But are there ways to get them to understand what you need? The choice to achieve? One of your senior managers says, We should take what Christy does, we should package it. We should go sell it. What she does should be making us more money. There are people who want to buy what she sells. Now, I can make this decision. I can take this input and do a lot of things with it. I my gut says, Yeah, that makes sense. That’s a really good thing. She does. It’s got to be more sellable. We there’s got to be more buyers for this than just the people we’ve already sold it to but I ask you to come back with so what’s your top 10 prospect list? Who would we go out and sell it, and how would we sell it to them? And that’s your job as the person who’s brought this idea or proposition to me, and my job it might be to go in luck and say, if I were to make this choice, make this person full time, dedicate more resources to this spend more time trying to sell this. What does that do to my profitability and how much more new business would this have to generate in order for this to be a good decision? It’s not a yes or no. It’s not a binary of we should or we shouldn’t. But then what kind of evidence do I need to demonstrate the efficacy of the of the choice we’re making again, to get to a desired outcome? Is the desired outcome simply to make sure, as a senior manager that I have more revenue this quarter so I get my bonus? Or is the goal to improve overall profitability and maximize the use of current resources and things we know are working in one space to the other right again, it I may come to the table with different approach and a different desired outcome, depending on what my position in that conversation is. The bottom line here is negotiation showing up in your life all day, every day, just like politics is not the P, not the politics with the big P, but the politics with the small p. Of like you got to ask for this in this way, in order to be able to get that from this person, and make sure you show up with your favorite their favorite dessert, if you want to ask so and so to do such and such, right, we negotiate and understand who needs to know what and when and how in order for everything to move smoothly. That’s politics. That’s negotiation. Those are the things most of us say. I don’t want any part of that. Is it’s happening all day, every day. The more you can recognize what it is to reduce the drama, the more successful you can be at what you’re trying to do.

Jess Dewell 49:20
Okay, so what’s your biggest takeaway?

Christy Maxfield 49:21
I think the biggest thing is remembering that negotiation is a specific type of communication, nothing more, nothing less, that there are some specific tools and techniques you can use to try and get the outcome that you desire, but it is. It’s all about understanding yourself, what you’re trying to achieve, what the person you’re having this negotiation with is trying to achieve, and keeping your eye on the prize.

Jess Dewell 49:54
I think my biggest takeaway, and it came to me as we were talking and it was illustrated by what we were talking about, is. At the preparation before the negotiation happens, might go on for a significant period of time. Do we have enough information? What are the trends that we are seeing? How is our market changing? There are places for quick decisions, and I’m all about that, so I never want to take away that decision. Go and trust I will add to that and say four big things that we’re talking about strategic growth and longevity and maintaining our relevance for our companies in the future, really comes down to if we are keeping the pulse on things when it’s time to get into that room, when it’s time to make that decision, when it’s time to initiate a change, we are ready. And so I would say my biggest takeaway is that everything we’re talking about with preparation is it’s ongoing, the ongoing preparation so that we can pull what we need when we need it, is the is my biggest takeaway.

Christy Maxfield 50:56
I hope there’s been lots of takeaways for folks and that you’re thinking about, where does this apply in my business? It’s to the very obvious scenarios. Whether you’re negotiating a purchase or a sale, whether you’re negotiating a new with a new client or a current client whom you’re trying to get to, to do more with your business, with your employees, with yourself, with your family, these strategies have been helpful.

Jess Dewell 51:23
Thanks for joining us for this. It’s Your Business. Brought to you by the Bold Business Podcast. Until next time, every single time I have a conversation, I take away something that I want to share with 25 people. I know when you’re listening to this podcast, you’re also listening for that, and we’ll have something that you want to share in the comments. I would like for you to engage with us. What is that thing that you want to tell 25 people from this program? Here’s why it’s important. It’s important because, yeah, there are going to be how tos, yes, there are going to be steps. Yes, you’re going to be like, Oh, I wish I wrote that down. I wish I wasn’t doing this and I could actually take action on that right now. But guess what? You’re not so engage right now, because that one thing you want to share with others will be the thing that you can figure out how to incorporate in your business, in your workflow, in your style tomorrow.

ANNOUNCER 52:19
Wow. Jess hosts the Bold Business Podcast to provide insights for building a resilient, profitable business by deeply understanding your growth strategy, ensuring market relevance and your company’s future. It is bold to deeply understand your growth strategy with your host, Jess Dewell, get more information about how to drive solutions and reset your growth mindset at reddirection.com. Thank you for joining us, and special thanks to our post production team at The Scott Treatment.